Change for the Better
It is absolutely natural for one to get upset or feel hurt by a negative statement that is directed at us, or if someone (especially someone we know and care about) makes a condescending comment. Remember the old saying “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” - Well it does hurt, and now in the world of social media it hurts even more, and in some cases the outcome can be quite tragic.
The sad truth is negative communication, be it criticism or insults, tend to come more naturally to people, than compliments, encouragement or celebration. What’s worse though, and far more damaging is self-criticism. This has been referred to as automatic negative thoughts aka A.N.T.S. (coined by U.S. Psychiatrist Dr. Daniel Amen) which is even more damaging to us. Yes, a colleague’s criticism or a family member’s insult may last a while, but the A.N.T.S. are with us all the time.
How do we overcome this? Well there are various methods and truth be told there is no one size fits all miracle solution. But there are some proven practices that can help us a great deal. The first and most important practice is Self-Awareness. “You can’t slay the dragon that you cannot see” Observe your self-talk, notice the automatic negative thoughts and replace them with a positive thought. The key to identifying this behaviour are our emotions, for example; if you catch yourself feeling overwhelmed and your self-talk says, “I don’t know if I can do this.” Your brain goes to work to find evidence confirming that you can’t do it.
The good news is the same is true for positive self-talk, here’s an example of what you can do; replace the negative thought with a powerful positive empowering thought, and declare to your self with faith and conviction “I am more than capable of handling this situation, because I am working for the mutual benefit of all involved.” - Now your brain goes to work to gather all the evidence as to why you are more than capable. As you and your sub-conscience work in unison towards this goal, solutions and answers will come to you. Changing your thinking, affects your behaviour which directs your actions and ultimately influences the end result or outcome.
Be kind to yourself - you deserve the best. Be kind to others - you deserve to be better.
Live well and live happily!